Your Turn: dealing with impossible coworkers
What better way to start off a new week than with a Your Turn! Yes, I know it’s Monday and not Friday but this dilemma came to me and I’d love to know what you think.
(I may be biased but I can say that I trust this person’s accounting of the story fully, and have no reason to believe any of it has been exaggerated for effect or told in a way to make one side sound better or worse than the other.)
What do you do if you work in an environment (in this case a department store) where your coworkers, for whatever reason, do not like you. At first you think you’re imagining it, because you’ve always been polite and they have been the same to you, but then you catch the coworkers whispering not quite behind your back constantly. You’re called to the office of your boss one day to talk to two coworkers who have told the boss a story about something you did (which you did not do). It’s two against one and you’re hardly given a chance to tell your side of the story before your boss tells you that you are expected to shape up or face the consequences.
What should this employee do? She is unsure about whether she’s ready to leave a job she’s been working at for over 10 years, especially in light of the fact that the coworkers that reported her have been there less than a year, and her boss less than three years.
Other bits of information that may or may not be important:
- The two coworkers hang out socially with each other outside of work
- The two coworkers hang out socially with the boss outside of work hours
- Other coworkers have started repeating similar (made up) stories, leading to a very tense work environment
December 10th, 2007 at 2:50 am
This is indeed a dilemna for the employee. My suggestion is that the employee should need to directly talk to the two co-workers. She should be polite and let them know that she wants to maintain good relations with them. This may or may not be the best strategy, but I feel that not taking a direct approach and not talking to the co-workers will only make matters worse.
I’m eager to know what other readers think!!
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My positivity blog http://positivityhub.com/
December 10th, 2007 at 10:49 am
This is a tough one, but workplace dilemmas like this are very common so she should take comfort in the fact that she is not alone. As the “outsider” in that group it is natural that the other folks will complain about work outside of the workplace, and since she is part of the workplace then she is seen as part of the problem. I should tell you that she should try to become their friend, etc. but really that probably will not help … they are bored, and she will need to give them personal information to win their trust, and chances are good that this information will just be used against her later. The more realistic strategy is to pick someone else who works near them who is weak and vulnerable and make them the target … people like this are predatory by nature and if she wants to survive then she needs to give them something else to hunt. Another more procedural step is to go to the HR department and let them know she feels it is an issue that the other three hang out together outside of work and she is penalized as a result … then at least it will be in her file if something happens. That could backfire, but it is better than suffering in silence.
December 11th, 2007 at 2:41 pm
He/she will have to go further up the food chain. Human resources, her boss’s boss. But sounds like he/she is in a losing battle that will likely end up in her dismissal and she’ll have to resort to Labour board/human rights board.
Sounds like the new people are younger, probably the boss is younger as well. It is a difficult scenario to be in, and I don’t envy the victim here at all.
December 17th, 2007 at 8:10 pm
Oh, Joomy. If it were me, I would try my hardest to get over my feelings because I so frequently feel that people don’t like me. I currently feel that way at the school I work at; I don’t know why, but everyone else goes for drinks on Thursdays and so forth, and I’m never invited (I’m unavailable on those days, anyways…. but I’m still sad that I’m not invited)
I just feel like people don’t like me, and in reality, I think that is rarely the case. I think its all perception and I try my best to get over it.