Life Tips Daily

As a two time bridesmaid and one time maid of honour, I feel fully qualified to impart my wisdom on all things wedding related. In all the weddings I have been involved in, I have learned far more about the friends for whom I stood up for and their friends than I ever thought possible. Yes, there is something about weddings that brings out the true characters of people and I’m sad to say that most of the time I wish these sides had never been revealed.

In this series I’d like to cover some tips for three groups of people involved in weddings. It is my hope that you will find something useful whether you are the bride, the bridesmaid or maid of honour, or a guest who happens to be a good friend of the bride.

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It makes sense that we start with the bride, since all eyes will be on her on her special day. I fully understand that being a bride is not easy, and that most brides find themselves inundated with a lot of work on top of their usually already busy schedules. One of the brides whose wedding I was a part of was finishing a master’s degree, applying for teacher’s college and bought a house in the same year; another also bought a house and was working multiple jobs. Needless to say, it is not easy to find time to plan a wedding while juggling other demands and there is also the matter of trying to save money for not only the nuptials but also a down payment on a house.

Some quick tips for brides who don’t want to worry about their bridesmaids or others plotting their demise:

Tell your bridesmaids what they need to know, and in a timely manner
A lot of brides seem to forget that although their bridesmaid may not be planning a wedding, they usually also have busy lives and schedules. This means that continually having to drop everything at the last minute might be an exercise in frustration for the bridesmaid, and will surely lead to feelings of resentment if it happens too often. To avoid this, I urge the bride to give her bridesmaids as much information about each person’s role as possible, and keep the bridesmaids regularly informed of any changes. If the bridesmaid doesn’t have to ask you for updates on things because she knows what’s going on, she will be very happy.

Don’t complain (too much)
Your bridesmaid will be delighted to hear your complaints (honestly: it’s almost a given that you will share your concerns, doubts, and worries with her, and she will attempt to reassure you to the best of her ability). Don’t abuse this by complaining about every aspect of the wedding, or you might make your bridesmaid wonder why you are even getting married if everything is so horrible. It’s understandable that you’ll need to moan about your impossible family members or the parents of your groom, your incompetent wedding planner or the scarcity of decent veils in the entire city, but please don’t turn every conversation about your wedding into a whine fest.

Know what you want
Nothing drives everyone involved with a wedding madder than an indecisive bride. If you don’t have a final decision on what you want, don’t share it with those people whose job it is to make your desires into reality. Someone whose mind is continually changing will drive everybody nuts. Take the time to discuss with the groom (and any other people whose opinion you need) what it is that you want that is not negotiable. Only when you have reached final decisions should you share these decisions with the people involved in making things happen.

Remember that other people have lives too
Weddings have a way of consuming the minds of everyone involved, the bride most of all. Try to remember, dear bride, that your friends and family still have their various concerns, hopes, dreams, to do lists, and accomplishments during this time, and try to keep up to date on what is going on in their lives, even as you’re putting your wedding together. They will appreciate knowing that you still care about them even though you’ve got your wedding to plan.

Don’t forget to acknowledge those who help you
It is customary for the bride to give her bridesmaids in particular a token of her appreciation and this is a tradition that I am quite fond of. Some brides give their bridesmaid a piece of jewelry that can be worn during the wedding; others give a personal gift that is unique to the recipient. While both are fine, I have a decided preference for the latter. As the majority of bridesmaids pay for their own dress, and the dress is usually a style and sheen that cannot be reused (though every bride hopes and declares that it can be), the piece of jewelry usually has the same problem. Instead, why not allow the bridesmaid to decide what jewelry (if any) she wants to wear, and give her tickets to her favourite concert, a gift card for her favourite store, a book she’s especially fond of or a subscription to her favourite magazine instead? And in your speech, don’t forget to thank your bridesmaids and any other people who worked behind the scenes to make your day special too!

If you remember these tips, I promise you that no cries of “bridezilla” will go on behind your back. Or to your face either.

weddings, bride, how to be a good bride, tips for the bride to be, tips for the bride

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