The power of forgiveness in real life
I’ve always been a fan of practicing forgiveness, not because I am a saint and not just because my religion commands it, but because it really is easier on you if you let go of the hurt and pain and forgive. Forgiving, unfortunately, does not mean you forget the hurt and the pain, sometimes the hurt and pain stays with you and can be triggered unexpectedly and you can feel just as bad as if the hurt happened yesterday. The idea behind practicing forgiveness is that the sooner you’re able to “let it go”, the sooner the process of letting time work its magic can begin.
Almost a year ago, I had an opportunity to see if forgiving really was better for my soul. A friend and I went through a situation that led to the end of our friendship. I was happy with the way I handled the situation, but I am not the sort of person who can throw away the years of a friendship without feeling twinges of sadness and although I didn’t talk about the situation much with friends after its conclusion, certain thing I would see and hear would remind me of this person. Part of the process of forgiveness for me was wishing her well in the future, so when I’d think of her, I’d hope that she was doing well and was happier. I’m no saint, I just chose not to let the feelings that I had during the situation sour me toward her permanently and therefore have the power to continually ruin my mood. Instead of feeling angry when I thought of her, I felt sad that things didn’t end in a more positive way (if they had to end).
Imagine my surprise on January 2 when I received an email from her after not hearing from her since the situation occurred! In her email she apologized for the part she played in the situation and explained what was going on in her life at the time. We were able to have a dialogue that we hadn’t had at the time, and perhaps we both had to go through these past few months in order to get to the point that we could have the conversation. While we haven’t yet talked on the phone or met in person, I no longer feel apprehensive about how a chance meeting on the street would go.
If that isn’t a sign that 2008 is going to be a great year, I don’t know what is!
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