Real life dilemma - cheating, lying boyfriend
Last week’s dilemma involved the fine line between being interfering and being a concerned friend. As Amanda’s comments showed, there may be layers to the situation that need to be examined. This week’s dilemma is not so complex in my view.
Vicky’s roomate, Linda, is dating a guy (Darnell) who shows all the classic signs of being a cheater. Lisa and Darnell have been dating for two years and in this time they have never spent any holidays together, other than a couple of hours when he stops by her apartment to give her a gift. They have one picture together. Here’s the kicker: they live in the same city!
Whenever Linda and Darnell make plans to go away for the weekend, or for her to meet his family (who live in town), or for him to meet her mom (who lives out of state and only visits once or twice a year), something always comes up, Darnell is unable to be where he’s supposed to be, and plans are cancelled.
On top of all this, Vicky was told by a mutual friend that Darnell was seen with a young child who looks a lot like him. This may be weak evidence but surely when put with all the rest it supports the thesis that Darnell is cheating on Linda?
Vicky hasn’t told Linda that she thinks Darnell may be cheating or married and she thinks at this stage (2 years in) it won’t do any good to share her opinion. I personally think Vicky should help Linda cut her losses and tell her the harsh truth: if Darnell isn’t married, he’s certainly got a very big responsibility that keeps him from being a good boyfriend and she, Linda, deserves better. This is all well and good but how should Vicky start what is bound to be a difficult conversation? If Linda won’t listen, which is very much a possibility, should Vicky even bother?
August 24th, 2007 at 10:08 am
Sounds like her friend needs to give her a copy of the book ‘He’s Just Not That Into You’!