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Real life dilemma - All your friends are coupled up

by Jummy

As the years go by (far too swiftly) I am noticing more and more of my female friends are finding boyfriends, which are morphing into fiancés and eventually to husbands. As the years pass, the number of weddings that I am invited to increases. For someone who always expected to be married by this age, attending weddings and hearing about newly engaged couples manages to scrape at my heart and make my heart smile at the same time. I’m left feeling happy for the couple yet so sad for myself and how I have seemingly missed out on something special.

I am generally optimistic about finding that special someone but every so often, I get down about the whole situation and all the platitudes in the world from well meaning friends do not help to make things better. I get sick of wishing everyone else best wishes, hearing “how we met” stories and getting excited about other people’s weddings. I want to be excited, and I am excited, it’s just that there’s a little voice that keeps asking “what about me?” and I can’t always answer it with positivity and optimism.

As happy as I am for my friends who have managed to find love, I can’t deny that being at times the only uncoupled one at events can be quite ego deflating. I do a good job of faking that everything’s ok but it does hurt. It hurts so much that after a while of attending events where I’m the only uncoupled on, I take a break.

So my question to you is this: are you going through a similar situation? Have you ever felt like you’re behind all your friends in certain areas of life? How did you deal with the feelings?
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3 Responses to “Real life dilemma - All your friends are coupled up”

  1. Jon Says:

    As someone who was married and divorced before most of my friends even thought about being married, I would say that there is an upside to taking your time. :)

  2. junior Says:

    Hey… I was where you were once. I ended up marrying someone who wasn’t right for me. Finally, years after my divorce, I have met the woman I should have waited for. I am very lucky. …and 39. Don’t give up.

  3. Stacy Says:

    I’m 26 yrs old and am starting to see the same thing happen in my life. Luckily, none of my super close friends have gotten married. However, alot of them are in serious relationships. I too am in a relationship but I don’t hear wedding bells soon and I’m not even sure if he’s the one. And I honestly don’t even feel like I am ready to settle down now. Yet I still have a fear of never getting married - of being left behind - or being alone. Because friendships do change when someone gets in a serious relationship or married. Sometimes I just miss the days when we were all single and hung out just the girls and the thought of marriage was freshly hopeful with no pressure.

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