Life Tips Daily

In yesterday’s post, ways in which one can misrepresent themselves online by their photos were discussed. Feel free to check these five areas here. Today’s focus is on important information that people sometimes fail to disclose. These things do not have to be discussed during the first few conversations but once it is apparent that there is something worth pursuing, be it friendship or a relationship, the following are areas where a frank and honest disclosure is best given voluntarily.

Your marital status
In your author’s perfect world, only singles would be trying to make (love) connections online. However, that is not the case: some married folk and people in (monogamous but unmarried) relationships are not above seeking someone else while still involved with another person. If you are the one who is not quite single, share your marital status frankly, and let the person decide if they can handle it. If you aren’t sure whether your new acquaintance is married, ask, knowing that there is no guarantee that you’re getting an honest reply.

If you’re going through a divorce or messy breakup, you may want to wait until the latter stages of this process before throwing yourself into online dating-if anything it’ll simplify your online status anyway!

Financial situation
Money is very powerful, capable of making and breaking human relationships. While you wouldn’t want to flash your bank account balance to anyone who “pokes” or “winks” at you online, or sends you an instant message, if you have problems with money, these should be laid out sooner rather than later. If you are in a lot of debt and therefore will not be able to go on expensive dates, make that clear from the beginning. It’ll save you the anxiety of the first date and what to do if an expensive restaurant is chosen, or if you’re expected to pay the full bill.

On the topic of money, don’t take advantage of somebody else’s financial situation: if you happen to meet somebody who seems

rather well to do, don’t assume that she or he will happily pick up the bill because you mentioned that you don’t have a lot of money. Live within your means, and don’t use an opportunity to date a wealthy person as a way of wiggling your hands into someone else’s seemingly limitless bank account.

Dependents
Your new interest should know what they are getting into with respect to who you are responsible for besides yourself: this may be older parents or a special needs sibling, or it may be children-your own or those of a relative or friend. However you came to have dependents, share this with your new potential relationship. Again, you don’t want to share this information too early but once it becomes clear that this is something you would like to pursue, you must let your interest into your life, and knowing that there are others in the picture will give an indication to him or her where your priorities lie.

Mental and general health
It may not be easy for you to be open about any serious mental or other health concerns that one has. If you have a terminal disease, for example, particularly one that is not well understood in society, how do you present the information in a way that doesn’t scare the person hearing it? The same is true with mental illness. Despite those difficulties, it is important to make sure that sombeody that will be spending a lot of time with you knows how to help you should things become critical. There is no need to share the results of your last (and every following) blood or urine test: just be upfront and admit that sometimes you will be too tired to attend certain events, or you will have attacks that land you in the hospital.

Criminal record/record of illegal activities
Nobody’s perfect but if you are engaging in any activities that could put your new interest into a dangerous or difficult position, let them know what they are getting into by being with you, and give them the choice to stay (with you) or leave before things get too serious.
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No matter what area you struggle discussing with a potential partner, the key is to be your true self: as clichéd as it sounds, there is someone out there for everyone, and you do not need to pretend to be somebody else, or smother parts of who you are in order to increase your attractiveness in the eyes of another. If you come clean to someone and they reject you because of that, take the time to feel bad about it but don’t let it be the end of your world. At least you’ll know that you didn’t misrepresent yourself. When you meet someone who has the full picture of you and loves you still, that’s when you’ll know that it was worth waiting for.