Life Tips Daily

If you’re going to be hosting some guests this summer, may I suggest some essential reading? Part I and Part II provide tips on being a great host(ess).

Today and tomorrow, we’ll focus on the responsibilities of a good guest. That’s right: the houseguest is not off the hook; simply showing up, starving and laden with luggage will not cut it. Houseguests have responsibilities in ensuring that their stay does not result in lost friendships, tension, or (more than the expected) disruption.

When are you coming…
Rule number one of being a fabulous houseguest is this: unless you know this person’s world will be rocked by your completely unexpected arrival, or your arrival is part of an elaborate surprise involving events like a wedding (read: your host(ess) to be is getting married and you had said you wouldn’t be able to attend the wedding and now you can), a milestone birthday, or a rising from the dead, do not drop by, baggage in hand, without any sort of notice!

Imagine the upheaval it will cause to the average individual or family: plans already in place would have to be cancelled, room for you, your luggage and any other people you’ve brought along would have to be found. Many people like to step up their cleaning regime a bit, in honour of their guest, and they might find it frankly embarrassing to welcome you into their home, unannounced. Unless you are a licensed home inspector, do not drop by for an overnight stay (or longer!) without any notice.

…and when do you leave?
The question may be rude, perhaps, (and no self-respecting host or hostess would ask it). They won’t have to ask it because you will provide the answer. Don’t leave your host wondering how long you will be in their home: tell them. Whether you’re staying for five days or 15, they should know. Ideally you’d present your itinerary (ahead of time) in a way that allows them to make the final decision, at least as far as accommodations are concerned–it’s all well and good to have a plan, but making sure it’s ok with your host(ess) is important. Their summer was going on and perhaps fully planned long before you decided to visit and out of respect for your host(ess), you should let them know how long they will have to work their schedule around you (not that they won’t be delighted to!).

Come bearing gifts
Christmas in July? Why not? A good guest brings a gift or token of their appreciation. Board game or book, fine glassware or art, a bathroom towel set or the deed to a cottage, be creative. Gifts are especially meaningful when they are chosen with the recipient in mind so know the likes and dislikes of your host(ess): your vegan host(ess) will not appreciate receiving the fresh steaks from your farm, and your friend’s 20 year old son may not be into the latest trendy thing that his counterparts in your city are into. As long as your gift is thoughtful, it will be appreciated (unless, of course it’s diet pills).

Come prepared to pay your way
With the exception of the things that get forgotten when packing, don’t forget to bring anything that would not only be costly for your host(ess) to provide, but anything that your host(ess) would have trouble providing (due to lack of availability in your area or his or her financial situation). Topping this list would be money, or access to money. Your host(ess) will already be spending (extra) money during your stay, and cheerfully too. Don’t turn it into a nightmare by expecting your host(ess) to pay for your entertainment (unless it’s offered as a treat), special foods or dietary requirements that aren’t easily accessible, or other non-essential things. This can build up tensions unnecessarily. Come aware of the costs associated with the area you will be staying in (the cost of living may be higher) and be prepared to pay your way and the way of anybody else you bring with you.

Come ready to follow the house rules
No, you’re not seven years old again and quite frankly, children never ask their host(ess) whether there are any rules that they should be aware of. You may be entering a house that makes jail seem like a picnic, or a home where anarchy is the only rule. Either way, ask your host(ess) whether there are any rules that you should be aware of. Common rules in households may relate to:

• the time by which you need to be back in their home each evening (this may seem silly but if your host is not providing you with a spare key and they go to bed before you get home, you may end up locked out!)
• rules for telephone use, especially long distance calling (they might have times/places where there are better rates for phone calls that they adhere strictly to)
• television use rules (if the household has children, they may not want you to watch certain movies/shows when the children are around)
• other small things you don’t think about, such as wearing shoes in the house or not.

By being aware of these tips before you set your bags down and make yourself comfortable, you will win the hearts of your host(ess). Get these tips down and you might even get a pillow to go with your cot in the corner of the basement. But once you’re established in the household, then what? Tips for living with your host(ess) will be the topic of Friday’s talk.

guest, guests, houseguests, entertaining, visitors, summer guests, host, hostess, home

(This is a Top 5 - Group Writing Project entry)

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