Looking for tips on being a better friend? Read on!

Communicate often
There are many ways to show you care, but arguably the most important way is to communicate it! There are a number of ways to do this: visiting, calling, sending emails, being sure to inquire about how your friend is doing when you see them or talk to them, asking them for a status report on something they have mentioned in passing in a previous conversation all let your friend know that you are thinking of them even after you hang up the phone or send the email. The value of continuous communication cannot be stressed too much. It may sometimes be hard to pick up the phone, especially when you’re going through things and wish it was your friend contacting you, but your good example just might rub off on your friend.

Be loyal
Nobody wants a friend who treats them like gold to their face, but spends all the time they are apart tearing them apart. If you find that you have more things you dislike about your friend than you like, perhaps this is not the friend for you. When others say something about your friend that you either view as untrue or know is untrue, you should feel the need to defend your friend’s good name, and show the strength of your friendship even if they are not around to witness it and they never hear about it. Good friends will stick up for each other when required.

Be supportive
You may not always agree with your friend’s ideas or decisions, and in a good friendship you should feel free to express this (respectfully, of course!) but this does not mean that you can’t show your support for your friend when things that you would not necessarily choose for yourself are happening or being chosen by your friend. For example, perhaps you wouldn’t date someone like they are planning to date but after you have expressed your concerns (and provided that there is no potential of physical or mental harm coming to your friend), it’s desirable to try to listen or express interest in this aspect of her life that you may not necessarily approve of.

Again, being supportive does not mean advocating harmful behaviours or encouraging a potentially dangerous situation, but rather recognizing that you’re individuals and respecting that individuality. So, a couch potato can still show up to cheer on a marathon-running friend, or a hater of country music can subject themself to a night at the concert of their country-loving friend’s favourite musical artist, right?

Practice these three tips and strengthen your friendships!

Keyboard and mouse
If the thought of germs makes you ill, then I advise you to step away from your computer because chances are that your computer keyboard and mouse are crawling with germs. But never fear! You too can make your keyboard a thing of beauty and germ-free goodness if you’re willing to.

What you will need:
A disinfecting cleaner
Paper towels and/or microfibre cloths
Cotton swabs
Air duster

Apply your cleaning solution liberally to some paper towel, and wipe down your keyboard and mouse with the paper towel. You may want to make sure that if your computer is turned on at this time, you’re not working on a thesis, book, blog entry or an email to your boss. In fact, just turn the computer off entirely, since you’ll need to have it off for the final step.

Once you’ve done this preliminary wipe-down, you may want to soak some cotton swabs in solution and run them up and down your rows of keyboard keys, grabbing those hard to reach bits of dust and stains from memorable moments such as the time you sprayed (or spilled) coffee all over the keyboard. Or, that time you accidentally dumped purple nail polish all over your keyboard during an unfortunate multitasking incident. A cotton swab will be very helpful as you try to remedy the situation.

Computer screen
Computer screens are delicate things, so you be sure to check that your cleaning solution is computer screen safe. The last thing you want to do is damage the screen! Be sure also to check what sort of cloth or towel is recommended for wiping the screen. The goal is generally to avoid materials that can scratch, so a microfibre cloth is usually a great choice. Microfibre cloths are actually great because they’ll remove the dust even without the addition of any cleaning solution.

Computer tower (if you’re not blessed with a laptop)
This will probably be the most intensive part of your cleanup. Sure, it’s not hard to spray some cleaning solution on a paper towel and wipe down your computer tower but did you ever consider taking off that outer casing and cleaning out the inside?

What could possible be inside your computer tower? Well dust, and lots of it! I have only done this once but I was blown away by the dust bunnies hiding within that relatively clean looking casing. This is where your air duster gets its second workout. I would not recommended introducing any cleaning solution to the inside of your tower so a few (hundred) puffs of air from your air duster should do the trick. Try not to have too much fun as you spray your computer tower’s fan with the air and watch it go around and around, windmill style. It can be quite addictive though: you have been warned!

If you have any other computer-related apparatus collecting dust, dirt or both, take the time to give them a good cleaning too. Make sure you use the right cleaning solution and cloth depending on the nature of the item and you’ll be fine. Don’t forget the final step of this cleaning bonanza: the part where you sit back and bask in the glow of your spic and span handiwork!

Once your desk is cleared off, you may discover that it’s the actual computer desk is hampering your ability to get organized. Perhaps the desk doesn’t have enough space for you to keep all the essentials (speakers, printer, scanner, fax machine) nearby and easy to reach. Maybe the surface of the desk is only big enough to hold a computer screen, while you need space to prop a notebook or a plate of food in front of the screen. Perhaps it’s drawers or shelves that your desk is missing. Whatever it is, do a good evaluation of your setup and figure out what you need to make your computer station the most useful and organized it can be.

Your physical desktop may be clean, but what did you do with all the junk that was on it? Did you go through each item carefully, tossing or recycling unneeded things and filing away those things that you do need, or did you just shove everything into a box and later, when you need something, you’ll be forced to riffle through a box with contents that have no rhyme or reason for being in there?

If you did the latter, all is not lost. Now is the perfect time to devise an organization system that works for you. There are more systems for organizing your desk surface than there is time to go through them. It’s all about the destination though, not how you get there: the objective is to come up with a system that works for you and keep up with it. What system you go with depends on what your computer area is for: a work computer will need a different setup than your home computer station. At work it may be important to have a hanging folder system or a filing cabinet nearby, whereas at home, a large magnet or cork board where you can affix inspiration or put reminders might be best. In both cases, a notebook where you can jot down important things, from interesting links or information you come across, to important information obtained from an instant message conversation may be necessary. There are lots of options.

And of course, setting up a system is only the beginning: vigilantly maintaining the system is key. Good luck!

Speaking of apologies, remember this entry early in the year? Well I have an update!

I did not know that this person even read my personal blog anymore and when she came upon my latest entries about house hunting and a 5K race that I will be running/walking, she felt compelled to email me again and wish me luck on both endeavours. That triggered an exchange of emails and we’re planning to meet for a meal in the near future. I think the resulting friendship may even end up being stronger than what it was before because we will have fought for it.

When a fight breaks up a relationship it’s sometimes a lot easier to say “To hell with him or her, I don’t need them”, and maybe you truly believe this, and maybe it’s even true. That is how I felt back when the situation happened. But sometimes you’re given an opportunity to change your original reaction and if you see something worth salvaging, you should take the opportunity and run with it. I’m glad we both have and I look forward to this new friendship.

I am about to start the long, labourious process of house hunting and next week I will be doing some pre-hunting by going to sites where new homes are being built and taking a look at their model homes. I’m sure I’ll want to buy one on the spot, but reality will hit me and I’ll use the day for the purpose it was meant: to get an idea of what I want versus absolutely need in a house. I will report back with some things learned while poking into model homes.

The building I work in has five elevators, and I decided to stick my next hope note in the elevator. The problem is there isn’t really anyplace to stick it to so I had to return to the office and grab some tape. Since the building is 19 floors high, you rarely get an elevator to yourself for the whole ride so I felt very rushed to stick up the message and also take a picture. I only managed a blurry picture before the doors opened so I stayed on the elevator to the bottom floor, but on the bottom floor people were waiting to get on so I had to get off so they didn’t wonder whether I was a vagrant elevator rider who spends her days going up and down.

I tried all day to get on that same elevator but I never did and when I checked that elevator the next day (yesterday), my hope note was gone. I hope a couple of people saw it before the very efficient custodial staff cleaned the elevator.

I had received a suggestion to put one in a library book, and I will definitely do that with one of the books I’ll be returning to the library later today. I did manage to stick one on a bookshelf at the library though:

It’s been fun! I have two more hope notes to post, and then I have to find some time to make more. I think keeping a roll of tape with me will also be quite beneficial.

The particular note pictured above is one that resonates quite deeply with me: you are lovely. This is not something I find easy to believe about myself, and I know I am not alone. Most of us have the tendency to see beauty out there: we’re quick to compliment coworkers and friends on their hairstyle, clothing, scent, accessories, and physical fitness. We’re kind to strangers but when it comes to treating ourselves with that loving eye and caring attitude, it doesn’t happen. We concentrate on one aspect of who we are (our flabby bellies, perhaps?) and berate ourselves about that one small part of who we are as people. All of a sudden all we are is the part of ourselves we hate the most. We can’t seem to accept the same compliments that we dole out; we believe the compliment giver must be lying, exaggerating, or saying the words out of a sense of pity.

If you can relate to this and are interested in reading what triggered me to vow to be kinder to myself, please read this entry. Be kind to yourself this week and the next time someone tells you that you’re lovely, accept it. It’s true.

Not Tonight Mr. Right by Kate Taylor
The purpose of this book is to convince the female reader that she doesn’t have to have sex early in a relationship in order to secure it. In fact, the book suggests that not having sex so soon is a good way to ensure that the relationship that develops is based on something other than sexual compatibility (which is important but not the only thing necessary to have a good relationship). According to the book, it’s possible to wait until marriage before having sex (although the book does not make a statement that one should wait that long if they are not inclined to do so). If you’re curious whether it’s possible to have a fulfilling relationship and not introduce sex into the equation so early, this book’s answer is a resounding “Yes!”.

Ever wondered Why Mr. Right Can’t Find You? Maybe you’re not looking in the right places…literally! This book, written from a male perspective (J.M. Kearns) suggests places where women can meet Mr. Right, and also takes the reader carefully through the world of online dating. If you’re ready to put aside your preconceived notions about where people can meet (and yes, bars and the gym are viable locations) and ready to step outside your comfort zone then you will learn a lot from this book.

Finally, we have Why Men Love Bitches, a book where the author (Sherry Argov) uses the term “bitch” in a tongue-in-cheek manner. The word “bitch” is believed by some to be an acronym for “Babe in total control of herself” and along those lines this book’s goal is to take the reader from doormat (bad) to dream girl. This book is adamant that the girl who is too nice, who puts aside her preferences and wishes to please a man will soon end up with a boyfriend who will be chomping at the bit to leave (and who will eventually leave). Contrary to what most women have been told all their lives, bending over backwards (and sideways and forwards) is not the way to sustain a good relationship and get a man to love you forever. This empowering book preaches that if you put yourself first without being selfish (it’s possible!) you can attract men who will want to be with you and who will love you for those very qualities that women are told to suppress.

Thanks to my crafty tendencies, I have a whole bunch of supplies that I could use for this project and I can share how the process goes on Getting Crafty. First I need some dedicated time where I turn OFF the computer and refuse to read other blogs and get messy with my scissors, glue and perhaps even glitter.

If you live somewhere where the snow has been coming down nonstop, and more snow is predicted in the coming days, wouldn’t joining this project be a perfect way to brighten the days of neighbours, fellow commuters or others who are probably thinking “will this snow ever end? Will spring ever come?”

Some places where I will be putting my hope notes:

• bus shelters
• in the elevators at work
• in the bathroom at work
• at the self checkout station for library books

Got any more good places I can hide my notes?

I was shocked to discover that “decluttering guru”, Peter Walsh, who you may have seen on Oprah claims that if you have issues with clutter or hoarding, this problem likely shows up in your health too: if you have a lot of clutter in your life, you are likely fat.

I was alarmed to read this because guess what? I am drowning in clutter and I am overweight. I can’t resist a bargain, I hate paying full price for something and have been known to buy things I don’t need simply because the price was too low to resist and because I was sure that I would one day need the item. I always thought my propensity to buy things and save them for the right moment was a good point, something that spoke well of my thriftiness and the fact that I don’t waste money. I take pride in the fact that family members scour my room for gift ideas before going out to buy something.

But could it be the symptoms of a bigger problem?

I love having things, it is comforting to have many belongings. Having things makes you feel like you’re doing ok, like you’re a success. We live in a society where the acquisition of more things is always the goal. You have a 1 gigabyte mp3 player? That’s nothing! Go get the 80 gigabyte Ipod so you can store every cd you own on it and entire dvds too! Why be happy with one when you can have two, or four, or ten? The more you have, the more you want and you end up in a situation where when one was once enough, you now you need more to feel that same sense of satisfaction. Is it really any surprise that those of us who take a lot of satisfaction in acquiring things also enjoy putting a lot of food into our bellies? That where one donut used to hit the spot, it now takes two? When before we’d choose between the latte and dessert we now get both? More is better, we think.

Not when it comes to weight and not when it comes to things, no matter how cheap they are, because eventually you’ll end up in a situation where you feel overwhelmed and like you’re being crushed by the weight of your possessions. Your body will begin to feel the same way too and that is not a good thing. So, are you with me? Are you ready to declutter for the sake of your health as well as your sanity?

Here are some tips that Walsh shares in the article:

• Before buying an item, ask yourself: “Does this thing move me closer to the vision I have for the life I want to be living?” If so, great; if not, why are you buying it?
• Honour and respect the space you have; no matter how hard you try, you can’t fit 10 cubic feet of stuff into five cubic feet of space.
• Set limits to the amount of stuff you will bring into your space.
• Focus on the quality of your relationships, not the quantity of your stuff.
• Every year go through your home; if you haven’t used an item in the last 12 months, do you really need it?

Good luck!