Envy
At some point or other in your life, you have probably been envious of a friend or stranger due to their possession of something you don’t have. This could be material possessions (car, house, new sneakers or wardrobe), personality traits you desire (organization, empathy, friendliness) or maybe someone managed to find the perfect man or woman for them and they are floating around you on their cloud of love, while you’re looking into your love-less past, your love-less present, and what seems to be your love-less future, trying not to lose hope that you too will find the special person for you.
(All these are hypothetical situations, naturally.)
Envy can make you seethe and simmer with strong emotions that leave you feeling miserable. It can make you lash out at people who are genuinely puzzled because they cannot determine what they did to set you off (and if they ever discover that you resent them for being themselves, you’re toast). If not acknowleded and controlled, envy can ruin important relationships in your life.
Instead of giving all the power to envy, force yourself to look at aspects of your own life that others would be envious of, and don’t shortchange yourself: sure, you might not be as artistic as a friend who just received a lucrative contract to paint a mural for a movie star, but you can write, or perhaps you’re a good listener or a fantastic friend. Or maybe you have a savings account with money in it, or you had a happy childhood and a fantastic family life. Even if you don’t have any comparable talents, focus on something about yourself that you like: your ability to make somebody laugh, your ability to brew the perfect cup of coffee, your fashion sense. Focus on the things that make your life good and worth living, and realize that someone out there might be envying you.
Rarely does envy go one way: while you’re busy admiring your coupled up friend, he’s probably envying you your freedom to do what you want and when, without considering the opinoins of any other. Envy is a two-way street.
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envy, jealousy, envious of friend, jealous of friend
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May 3rd, 2007 at 8:40 am
What do we covet? We covet what we see. That’s what Hanibal Lector says anyways.