Ditch the clichéd phrases! (Part V of the ‘How to shine online: qualities of a good online dating profile’ series)
There is no place more than the dating field, where clichéd phrases are heard. Much like the pick up lines that make you roll your eyes, some dating profiles are so unimaginatively dull that you wonder if the profile owner truly expects to get results from it!
If you want to avoid writing a profile full of clichés, avoid the following phrases:
“Looking for…”
- …Love - unless the dating site is for non-romantic encounters, this is redundant
- …My prince/princess - you can truly be looking for it, but putting it in a profile makes people think of fairytales and life is no fairytale!
- …My knight in shining armour - see above
- …My queen - see above
One of the biggest problems with the above is
they are overused and overdone. You will not stand out using any of them. If you are adamant about using it, at least add some words to it to give it that twist or quirk that’ll make your opening line-and you- stand out. how about “Looking for princess who can fix a flat tire” or “Looking for love because it hasn’t found me yet”? Perhaps they aren’t terribly unique, but they show a bit more thought and personality (which was the goal of the last entry).
“If you’d like to know more, ask/Email me for more details”
The problem with this phrase is that people are putting it in the part of the profile where you are asked specifically to describe who you are, what you’re looking for, and what hobbies you have, without first describing these things! These profile writers are lazy, hoping potential respondents will take one look at their picture and immediately contact them. Not so fast! Take the time to give at least a rough idea of who you are…then you can add that bit about contacting you to know more-although, isn’t that a given? If your profile is interesting, you will be contacted for more. Otherwise, how would the relationship progress?
“I don’t usually do this…/My friend suggested I do this…”
It might be true that online dating isn’t a regular indulgence of yours, but does this add anything to your profile? By saying this, it could be taken negatively, like you are implying there is something wrong with this form of meeting people. If you feel that way, you shouldn’t be using it and others will feel this vibe and likely ignore you. Also, if you don’t mean it in that way, do you think your profile might be more attractive because you’re not a longtime online dating devotee? Even people who are regulars on online dating sites put this in, perhaps hoping to sound new and exciting. It doesn’t work.
And of course, saying you’re trying out this site because a friend recommended it might say more about your personality than you’d like: it might say you’re easily influenced by people, you have a tendency to do what others tell you to do rather than think for yourself, you’re online dating against your will, none of which is particularly flattering.
What online dating clichéd phrases annoy you?
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This is the fourth part of this series. Please see the following parts for more information:
Part I-Introduction to online dating profile writing
Part II-Write it right: a good dating profile
Part III-Tell ‘em who you are and what you want!
Part IV-Your profile: now with your personality!
online dating, profile, opening phrases
September 20th, 2007 at 9:16 pm
I think that being ridiculously picky in the “I’m looking for” section is overdone, too. Like, “I need a 5′6″ brunette, who doesn’t smoke, is a virgin, works out but is not buff, is cuddly but not needy. I want someone who knows what she wants but isn’t bossy, who is willing to pay on her first date, and most of all, is willing to accept me for who I am”.
I want someone to put down a personality type, an activities type, something concrete. I hate it when people use vague terms like ‘needy’, or ‘fit’ because they are often terms that hide real meanings (Like, the word ‘fit’ makes me not respond, but then the person usually means someone not large. Or I don’t respond to ‘needy’ because I think I am, but my definition is different from someone else’s.)
This is vague and picky. I know.
That’s probably why I gave up online dating. *Winks*