Life Tips Daily

My adventures putting up my hope notes was pretty fun. Two mornings ago I got on the bus headed to work and quickly stuck one in front of me and managed to snap a picture of it before anyone noticed me. I felt very sneaky and covert and even a bit nervous, because I don’t want to be caught or questioned. I guess I shouldn’t feel like that because my explanation “I’m just trying to spread some hope!” really can’t be taken the wrong way by anyone, can it?

The building I work in has five elevators, and I decided to stick my next hope note in the elevator. The problem is there isn’t really anyplace to stick it to so I had to return to the office and grab some tape. Since the building is 19 floors high, you rarely get an elevator to yourself for the whole ride so I felt very rushed to stick up the message and also take a picture. I only managed a blurry picture before the doors opened so I stayed on the elevator to the bottom floor, but on the bottom floor people were waiting to get on so I had to get off so they didn’t wonder whether I was a vagrant elevator rider who spends her days going up and down.

I tried all day to get on that same elevator but I never did and when I checked that elevator the next day (yesterday), my hope note was gone. I hope a couple of people saw it before the very efficient custodial staff cleaned the elevator.

I had received a suggestion to put one in a library book, and I will definitely do that with one of the books I’ll be returning to the library later today. I did manage to stick one on a bookshelf at the library though:

It’s been fun! I have two more hope notes to post, and then I have to find some time to make more. I think keeping a roll of tape with me will also be quite beneficial.

I made the first five hope notes to distribute and I have some great ideas of where to post them. I’m hoping I can do this somewhat covertly because I don’t want to have to explain what I’m doing (and also it would be more exciting if someone didn’t see me hiding a note and then mosey over to read it immediately: there should be an element of secrecy in the whole thing, don’t you think?)

The particular note pictured above is one that resonates quite deeply with me: you are lovely. This is not something I find easy to believe about myself, and I know I am not alone. Most of us have the tendency to see beauty out there: we’re quick to compliment coworkers and friends on their hairstyle, clothing, scent, accessories, and physical fitness. We’re kind to strangers but when it comes to treating ourselves with that loving eye and caring attitude, it doesn’t happen. We concentrate on one aspect of who we are (our flabby bellies, perhaps?) and berate ourselves about that one small part of who we are as people. All of a sudden all we are is the part of ourselves we hate the most. We can’t seem to accept the same compliments that we dole out; we believe the compliment giver must be lying, exaggerating, or saying the words out of a sense of pity.

If you can relate to this and are interested in reading what triggered me to vow to be kinder to myself, please read this entry. Be kind to yourself this week and the next time someone tells you that you’re lovely, accept it. It’s true.

While reading the always inspiring blog of Emma, I came across this Hope Revo project and I was instantly inspired. However going from inspiration to action always takes a decade for me (I have severe procrastination issues) so I still haven’t done much more than the brainstorming that I did on the first day that I saw read the site and found out that the idea of the project is to create notes to hide around your city, notes that people will find and hopefully be encouraged and strengthened by. The notes can be short or long, they can be simply written or be a decorated. Here are some of the messages I’ve come up with:

Thanks to my crafty tendencies, I have a whole bunch of supplies that I could use for this project and I can share how the process goes on Getting Crafty. First I need some dedicated time where I turn OFF the computer and refuse to read other blogs and get messy with my scissors, glue and perhaps even glitter.

If you live somewhere where the snow has been coming down nonstop, and more snow is predicted in the coming days, wouldn’t joining this project be a perfect way to brighten the days of neighbours, fellow commuters or others who are probably thinking “will this snow ever end? Will spring ever come?”

Some places where I will be putting my hope notes:

• bus shelters
• in the elevators at work
• in the bathroom at work
• at the self checkout station for library books

Got any more good places I can hide my notes?

If you spend a lot of time on the computer, either at work or at home, you may find that you become stressed and disorganized when you can’t find files or documents that you’re looking for. The naming system you used made sense at the time, as did the location you saved it to, but now, for the life of you, you can’t recall what you were thinking (or what you were drinking!).

Here’s today’s tip to help you feel more in control of your clutter:

Clean both desktops
There is of course the physical desktop, where your computer keyboard and screen sit upon if you have a desktop computer. Some laptop owners sit at a desk at least occasionally, though that is perhaps not the general rule. Either way, make sure the surface on which your computer rests is clean: no post it notes mocking you with things you have to remember, no empty drink bottles, food plates, no stray pens and pencils everywhere. You may have to bring out some surface cleaner to clean your newly discovered (and likely dusty) surface.

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I went to a restaurant with family recently and I was not impressed with the first waitress that was assigned to us. Before I could even comment on it to my parents, a new server came to our table and informed us that she was going to be helping us from there on.

She was wonderful and I can honestly say that we’ve never had such superb service before. In analyzing how she made our experience so lovely, I came up with the following tips for those of you who work in the customer service area and who wish to give top notch service every time.

Smile
A sign at a dentist’s office I pass every day reads “A smile is the same in every language” and isn’t that the truth? Smile, and smile from your heart. Only the truly miserable will fail to respond similarly to a warm smile (and in that case they need to see more smiles in their life!).

Engage the customer, build a rapport
My father can be taciturn but our charming waitress soon had him cracking jokes and responding to her teasing. In order to build a rapport with your customer, you aren’t necessarily required to be a funny person. Be polite, show interest in the customer, look for indications of what makes them tick and respond to those cues in your own behaviour.

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I’ve always been a fan of practicing forgiveness, not because I am a saint and not just because my religion commands it, but because it really is easier on you if you let go of the hurt and pain and forgive. Forgiving, unfortunately, does not mean you forget the hurt and the pain, sometimes the hurt and pain stays with you and can be triggered unexpectedly and you can feel just as bad as if the hurt happened yesterday. The idea behind practicing forgiveness is that the sooner you’re able to “let it go”, the sooner the process of letting time work its magic can begin.

Almost a year ago, I had an opportunity to see if forgiving really was better for my soul. A friend and I went through a situation that led to the end of our friendship. I was happy with the way I handled the situation, but I am not the sort of person who can throw away the years of a friendship without feeling twinges of sadness and although I didn’t talk about the situation much with friends after its conclusion, certain thing I would see and hear would remind me of this person. Part of the process of forgiveness for me was wishing her well in the future, so when I’d think of her, I’d hope that she was doing well and was happier. I’m no saint, I just chose not to let the feelings that I had during the situation sour me toward her permanently and therefore have the power to continually ruin my mood. Instead of feeling angry when I thought of her, I felt sad that things didn’t end in a more positive way (if they had to end).

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There are only two more days left in 2007, and perhaps you’ve been looking forward to a fresh new year without any blemishes for a while now. Many people like the idea of having a brand new year to dream about and hope for, one to resolve to take up good habits and abandon bad habits. Some people have dreams of changing their lives completely, or just tweaking certain parts of it. But how do you get started?

Marina over at Sufficient Thrust has created the Ultimate Guide to New Years Resolutions which is a must read for any of you who have trouble making resolutions that are measurable, or if you have trouble making resolutions that you can stick to. Your dear hostess on this here blog has problems in both areas so you can bet she’ll be consulting this guide carefully in the coming days so that she can hit 2008 running, with goals that she will be able to put a check mark beside in a year’s time.

One thing that’s really great about the guide is that Marina takes you through how to make an awesome (not just ok, or good) resolution. If you want to lose weight, for example, simply saying that you want to lose weight isn’t enough. You need to be specific with how much weight you want to lose and how you will go about doing it. This gives the resolution a much greater chance of being accomplished.

So, as you reflect on the coming year, grab some paper and a pen, or get your fingers to a computer and get writing. You may feel there are a million things you need to change but don’t overwhelm yourself! Write down a few (Marina mentions making five resolutions) and work on them. There is always next year to tackle the other resolutions!

Christmas Eve is one short week away. How are you coming along with your shopping and other preparations?

My shopping is somewhere between one half and two thirds completed for family members, and somewhere near 0% completed for friends; but I’m not at all stressed about it this year for some reason.

For those of you who have purchased all your gifts and perhaps even wrapped them all, where are you hiding them so that the curious don’t have a chance to feel or shake gifts in the hopes of guessing its contents? Do you keep your presents lying in plain sight, but leave the gift labels off them to confuse recipients?

Here are some good hiding places for gifts:

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(For part I, please read here)

If you spend the Christmas season worrying instead of enjoying, here are some worries and ways to combat them.

Worry: You can only afford to spend about half of what you normally spend on your gift recipients, or only a few dollars, and you’re afraid they’ll be disappointed.

Antidote: Let people who might be expecting a gift of a certain price range from you know that you cannot afford to spend a lot this year. If it would lighten the load of stress that this situation can bring, you can ask if people would mind not exchanging gifts this year. Alternatively, why not suggest a gift exchange of hand made (by them) things (if you need ideas for Christmas gifts that can be made, visit the Creative Mom Cafe)? A suggestion that will either be loved or hated is to suggest re-gifting something that you received previously, but think someone else would enjoy far more.

Worry: It’s one week before Christmas and you haven’t mailed out Christmas cards yet

Antidote: I have personal experience with this one and there are a number of ways that you can takcle this. You can decide to give yourself a break this year and not mail cards at all. You can mail them anyway, with the premise of “better late than never”. Some creative alternatives are:

• mail them a Happy New Year card instead
• call them on Christmas day or a few days before to deliver a personal greeting
• send them a centrepiece flower arrangement for Christmas dinner (make sure to get a guarantee that the flowers will arrive before Christmas!)
• send an e-card expressing your wishes for a merry Christmas

I thought that since I am one of the worst offenders of the crime known as worrying, I’d let you in on something that I just read.

Apparently something like 90% of things that you worry about don’t come to pass! For the chronic worriers among us, this is a very eye-opening statistic! So, join me and let’s stop worrying together. Instead, let’s do some of the following to make our countdown to Christmas much more pleasant.

Worry: Christmas dinner will be a disaster because the two siblings who always make a scene by having a huge fight will be coming, and their grudge has only grown worse over the past year.

Antidote: Send both an email or call them both up and let them know that you are expecting them to treat the other guests with respect, and they can do this by allowing Christmas to be about family, love and warmth, instead of being another stage on which to play out their feud. Let them know that you will do your part and ensure that they aren’t seated close to each other, but other than that it’s up to them to be mature about it. Tell each that you don’t want them to explain themselves to you; you have told them all you plan to say on the topic. Then drop it and count on them to do their part.

Worry: Someone you haven’t thought of will stop by at your house and drop off a present for you and you won’t have one to give in return.

Antidote: First of all, remember that Christmas is about warmth and love, and if someone gives you a gift, your job is to accept it and be appreciative of it. Christmas is not about feeling guilty and upset, so instead of exclaiming “but I didn’t get you anything!”, and ruining the moment by making about you, express genuine gratitude and let that be your gift to the other person.

If you absolutely must give a gift, you can do what some have gotten in the habit of doing: buy some neutral gifts, wrapg them and affix a gift tag to it with your name already signed (keep the same pen handy so you can fill in the name of the recipient before presenting the gift). This can backfire though: if someone presents you with a gift that they obviously spent a lot of time and effort to select, and you present them with a box of chocolates, no matter how carefully chosen and high in quality they are, you might feel even worse! A more genuine idea in my opinion is to give them a gift, but in the new year. Why not call them up to go for dinner in January, or invite them over for wine and dessert in February? The fact that it might be unexpected might make them appreciate it more.

Just over a week ago, coworkers (who are always such good examples of how to be healthy at the workplace) mentioned that they wanted to start a running group for those of us who wanted to begin running. The coworker who was responsible for setting up the group was a seasoned runner who has run marathons in the past, and two of her colleagues were also regular runners. When this idea was mentioned in passing, I expressed interest because I had wanted to try running for a while. A few hours later I was told that the first running session would be in a couple of days!

I went for my first run just over a week ago and it was hard. My legs cramped, I was out of breath after what seemed like an eternity but was probably less than two minutes of running. It was a humbling experience, which I describe in more detail on my personal blog.

Since the first day, I’ve been making a deliberate effort to go for a run/walk (rulk) every other day. Some days are better than others, but the important things is that I make the effort. Even though it’s been only a short time, I noticed a difference in my capabilities after the first few rulks. It still isn’t easy, and the cold weather we’re experiencing certainly doesn’t make me bound out of bed, or come home from work eager to go outside, but running and walking are healthy habits that I want to have, and nothing builds a habit better than repetition!

With the cooler weather coming to those in the northern hemisphere of the world, it can be tempting to spend your free time curled up and keeping warm. Instead, why not take this often quieter time of the year to develop a more active lifestyle? Your body will thank you (once the aches have faded!).

Have you ever made a lifestyle change? How long did it take you to make a habit out of it? What are the benefits you enjoy from this change?

For some Americans, it won’t truly feel like Christmas is here until Thanksgiving has passed, but for Canadians who celebrated Thanksgiving over a month ago, and people who don’t have another holiday before Christmas, Christmas is approaching a little too fast, and the number of things to be put into place before December 25th are overwhelming.

When you find yourself starting to become overwhelmed, instead of letting thoughts of all that you have to do swirl around in your head, stressing you out and possibly causing headaches, give each its moment in the limelight and write them down on a list. A list can be an easy cure to being stressed because you’re giving your mind permission to stop thinking about it and taking a small step towards the completion of the task.

You can create a general list of all that needs to be done, and then create smaller mini lists for each task or sub-task. Once you know what you do, you can tackle crossing items off your lists!

Other great things about writing and having a list are:

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Christmas will be here in no time and if you have to mail anything out of your city or country, you may want to pay attention to some of the following.

Consult the post office and postal service
My local post office produces a flyer every year that gives me the deadlines for mailing card and shipping gifts to other countries and I find it handy. I take all the dates on that flyer that apply to me and put them on my calendar and then I give myself reminders so that the due date doesn’t hit without me having planned what to buy as a gift.

If you’re a last minute sort of person, and you don’t mind spending (a lot) extra, there are services in place that guarantee (in many but not all cases) that your package will be received before Christmas. Keep in mind that not all services can guarantee this, especially if they have less than one week’s notice (and you may have to pay dearly for the convenience!). In any case be sure to ask before assuming.

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Do you ever get stuck on the phone with a friend who keeps talking and talking and talking? If your problem is the length of your telephone calls and not that you no longer want to speak with them, here are some tips to get off the phone with a chatty friend minutes faster!

Set a time limit on the conversation and inform your chatty friend of it
You don’t need to start the conversation with “I have a stopwatch and once 10 minutes have passed my phone will automatically hang up” but you can let your friend know ahead of time that you really only have 5 minutes to talk. You may be uncomfortable setting a time limit on the conversation, especially if you’re the one who called, but the fact that you called means you want to keep in contact with and talk to your friend, and that is what your friend should focus on.

Listen more
If you’re stuck on how to be a good listener, read this. If you allow your friend to do most of the talking during the conversation, when the conversation ends, he or she will likely feel that it was a good (albeit short!) conversation, compared with if the talk is dominated by you and then cut off by you. If your call is purely to catch up, allow your friend to spend more time talking about what has been going on in her life (you probably won’t have to twist her arm to get it out of her!). Ask questions but let the majority of the talking come from your friend.

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Image courtesy of hopee

Early on this week, I saw that the week was getting away from me, but I thought I might be able to find time to share some insight later in the week so I didn’t make a formal announcement that I’d be away for a week. Well it has been a week and I never did get around to writing. I apologize. This week has led me to contemplate the importance of taking a break every now and then. If you don’t, you may find yourself ending up on a forced one.

With Christmas coming, a season that guarantees that your busy schedule will get even busier, it’s important to give yourself plenty of moments to relax. The key is to start early of course, but sometimes you have to admit that you just can’t juggle everything, no matter how hard you try, and take some extra days off. I took yesterday off from work and even though I only managed to do two tasks, these are tasks that I didn’t have to work into today’s to do list and it has been nice.

How can you tell that you need a break?

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