Life Tips Daily

Yesterday, I focused on tips that all good guests (or guests to be) should keep in mind before they even enter the home of their host(ess). Once you’ve been welcomed and provided with a place to stay and treated like family, be sure to know your boundaries and stay well within them. The following tips should help with the establishment of these boundaries.

Don’t snoop
As tempting as it might be to explore the home of your host(ess) when you are alone in the home, resist. Not only is it an invasion of privacy, it also rude. If they wanted you to see certain things, they would have been left in plain sight for your viewing pleasure. Stay in common areas of the house and avoid the bedrooms or offices of your host(ess) unless you have their permission (and “make yourself at home� rarely means “paw through my jewelry�!). And stealing is a big no-no too.

Don’t get involved in family squabbles or family politics
If you are staying with a family, you will likely hear raised voices or angry words spoken. When individuals are fighting in your presence, make your presence known in a subtle way, if possible. If not, you can leave the room under the guise of giving them privacy (should they ask you later); both tactics give them a visual reminder that there is someone in their midst who they may want to stop behaving badly in front of. Whether you stay or go, do not:

• take sides in any arguments, even if asked
• act as a witness if an incident is being recalled
• act as the peacemaker (unless you are certain that you are wanted in this capacity by both parties).

Don’t impose your own rules
This is especially important when children are involved. You and your host(ess) will have different parenting styles; this is a guarantee. There may be a lot of overlap in your parenting styles, there may not be any. You must allow your host(ess) to discipline his or her children in his or her way, and hopefully the same right will be extended to you (obvious exceptions to this “live and let live� philosophy are situations of abuse). Complications can occur when one parent allows his or her child to do something while the children of the other person, host(ess) or houseguest does not allow their children to do the same thing. A good guest should defer to the host(ess) and the house rules in these matters, explaining to his or her child why she cannot do something that she is used to doing in her own home. This allows you to teach the child an important lesson that people are different, and how it is sometimes necessary to follow rules that are set out by somebody else.

One thing that both the guest and host(ess) should try to avoid doing is disciplining the other person’s children. This rarely ends well, and usually leads to a fight among the parents!

After all those don’ts, there is one very important do:

Do offer to help with chores and other activities
Although your host(ess) may turn down your request to help clean the kitchen, vacuum, or help with dinner preparations, don’t forget to offer your help. Even if you are not taken up on your offer, the offer is still appreciated. Offer help in a way that expresses a genuine willingness to do the work, and don’t be a part of the problem by creating messes everywhere you go!

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And that wraps up this week’s quartet of entries on being a good host(ess) and/or houseguest. If you have any tips to add or have any questions, please feel free to make them known in the comments section of any of these four entries:

Tips for being a good host(ess)
Part I
Part II

Tips for being a good house guest
Before you walk in the door
Once you’re in the family

guest, guests, houseguests, entertaining, visitors, summer guests, host, hostess, home

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