Your Turn: more workplace-related questions
Last week we looked at some questions about workplace and this week’s Your Turn is no different! What are your answers to the questions below:
- A coworker has gotten into the habit of telling you all of his or her problems, all because you asked him/her one day how s/he was doing, and listened while s/he gave his/her life story. How do you extricate yourself from this position of constant confidant?
- A coworker dresses inappropriately for the office (in your opinion). How do you go about addressing this?
- This is tricky. You could try the passive route, and stop asking the coworker how s/he is doing, or every time you do ask, let him/her know that you don’t have a lot of time to talk. If for example, you usually walk by this coworker’s office and greet him or her, do so and keep going. Do not stop, therefore making you vulnerable to be drawn into conversation. You could also start prefacing all conversations with “I’m sorry to run but I’m swamped” so your chatty coworker gets the message that you can’t talk for very long. If the coworker keeps talking, you will have to interrupt and say firmly “I’m sorry to interrupt but I really have to go” and then leave. Do not hang around and give your coworker an opportunity to lure you back in!
- Before I get too excited about my coworker’s inappropriate dressing, I’d find out what the work dress code it. I’ve never worked somewhere where my clothing choices have been commented on in reference to the dress code, but there are some things you just know, right? That argument will not hold though should things get confrontational, so make sure you are aware of what the powers that be say about what you are and aren’t allowed to wear.
It’s also important to pick your battle in this area. Does the coworker’s dressing affect your ability to work with him or her? It might, if the dressing is overly revealing, making you feel uncomfortable. If you just don’t like the way the person dresses because the style clashes with yours, I would let it go.
Finally, I’d talk to human resources about the problem. Perhaps all that would be needed is a reminder email from someone from that sector, (re)informing staff of what they are expected to wear at work. That might solve your problem. If it doesn’t, you can try to approach the coworker in a respectful way, and share your feelings. In the end, if your coworker and office don’t care about your opinion that much, it’s probably best to drop it.
(Author confession: I’m usually the one who can’t stop talking!)
November 5th, 2007 at 8:14 pm
For your number one, I have to ask… did we somehow become coworkers? And now that we are coworkers, do you NEED to write about me on your blog?
LOL.
We have an inappropriate dresser at my one job. I don’t think anyone has said anything to her, and I’m certainly not going to. I’d say something like that is up to HR, if the company has an HR, or the supervisor.
November 14th, 2007 at 12:53 am
For #1, if you don’t care, why would you ask in the first place?
For #2, if a person is dressed against company dress code, management or HR should be responsible. Other than that, you should quit being a pr*ck and let people be themselves.
My opinion only.
November 15th, 2007 at 4:17 pm
1. Everyone needs someone to talk to. Take it as a compliment that they trust you and look to you as a good listner and a friend. Most people just want someone to listen to them. So be considerate - listen. When it seems to just carry on to long, politely excuse yourself.
2. How someone else dresses does not affect you. Unless they are your business partner or a subordinate then it’s really none of your business. You can only control your life. I agree with the idea of dressing for success, but that’s for me. I’d keep my mouth shut and worry about more important things.