Life Tips Daily

It’s Sunday evening, and you’ve invited friends over for dinner. They have young children, so you assume that it’ll be an early evening because there are children with bedtimes that should be enforced. Or, you have dinner with friends who are (also) professionals, and assume your 8-4 or 9-5 job schedules automatically dictate that people will be leaving soon after dessert. Sadly, you’re wrong. Here are some tips for dealing with guests that overstay their welcome.

Ask them to leave (politely)
There’s nothing wrong in letting your guests know (apologetically if that makes you feel better) that unfortunately you have an early morning and will have to “kick them out”. Said with a sense of humour and a lack of annoyance in your voice, this approach is best as it allows your guest to know why they are being asked to leave, and they may derive some small thrill from feeling like they are doing you a favour.

Pretend it’s your fault
Something along the lines of “I’m so sorry, look how long I’ve kept you with my chatting!” allows them to feel that they are not being kicked out but rather allowed to escape. This little white lie usually works…unless your guest is well aware that they have been having a monologue and you have only been nodding when appropriate. In that case they may become insulted so use this approach sparingly.

Hint by action subtly
This can be a very time consuming effort, especially if your guest is rather clueless. You may want to try stifling yawns, tidying discreetly yet visibly, and, if you have children, you can ask them to go and start getting ready for bed. You could also ask them when they go to bed, what they have planned for the following day, what time it is, in an effort to get them to be aware of their surroundings.

overstay welcome, guests, houseguests, guests that stay too late

Gratefulness gets a lot of attention in this blog, and that is because people aren’t grateful enough, and rudeness is on the rise. Not thanking someone for holding the door for you, not being wished a nice day by a cashier, not excusing yourself if you bump into somebody–these are all ways in which the reign of rudeness is being allowed to continue. So to that end, gratefulness and thankfulness will be preached regularly.

In the above examples, you express your appreciation and move on. There are certain cases, however, where a verbal thank you should be followed by a written (on paper!) thank you. I recommend that you send thank you cards or letters in the following situations:

Receipt of a gift following any event, but some that stand out are:

• the birth of a child
• a baby shower
• a wedding
• a wedding shower
• graduation
• new home
• new job
• good bye party

Receipt of services/help that you would ordinarily pay for
If someone, usually a friend or a friend of a friend, helps you uproot that 15 year old tree, or retile your bathroom, a spoken “Thank you” as they’re dragging their weary body home is not enough. Express your gratitude with a card (and a gift).

Following an interview with a prospective employer
While other interviewees may send an email to thank the employer for his or her time, s/he who sends a hand written card or letter will likely be remembered (put your best writing on display please!).

Following an interview unrelated to employment
Here is where the author of this site needs to practice what she preaches. I have yet to send a hand written thank you card to the people I have interviewed so far for this site, but I do think it is a good idea to do so and I will be sending one out this week.

What other occasions do you deem a hand written thank you card necessary?

thank you, thank you card, sending thank you cards, thank you letter

A friend of mine told her coworkers a big lie when she first started working with them. Whether she did this because she was embarrassed to admit the truth, or didn’t think her relationship with some of the coworkers would deepen, it’s hard to tell. I don’t believe she even knows why she didn’t admit the truth.

I know the truth and although I don’t think it will affect how people treat her in the long run, I think she should set the record straight (at least with the coworkers she has become close with) and tell them the truth. My other friend says that since this truth will not affect her relationshiop with her coworkers, she should let sleeping dogs lie and not bother setting the record straight.

What do you think?
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If you have a real life dilemma that you’d like to be featured on the Friday feature, please send it to jummy.lifetipsdaily@gmail.com.

There’s a definite theme this week. Today I’m going to share some ordinary things that you can be grateful for. All may not apply to you, but perhaps one or two will strike you as things you take for granted.

Your senses
If you are reading this, you are blessed to have the sense of sight and not only can you read a computer screen, you can see all of the beauty that surrounds you. It is far too easy to take things like a sense of taste for granted, until you get a cold the day before a really extravagant dinner and can hardly taste what you’re eating! Be grateful for your ability to touch (and feel), taste, see, hear and smell things!

(Access to a) computer and internet
Although many children in North America grow up with a computer around them, it must be said that not everybody is so blessed. Being able to turn on the machine and work on it into the wee hours of the night is something I don’t take for granted (especially given my addiction to it!). If you do not own your own computer, you are probably able to access one through a local library, at school, or at a cyber café.

Electricity
It’s hard to believe, but in some countries a steady supply of electricity is not the norm. In parts of the world, people live every day with the expectation that power will go out several times before the evening is through (that is if it works at all!). This means that having a refrigerator or other appliances is not a priority. If you take a minute to think of all the things you use electricity for, you’ll be humbled by the ‘necessities’ that other people regularly live without.

Access to doctors and/or healthcare and medicine
Most people are aware of the good fortune they have in having access to not only general practioners but specialists equipped to treat all that ails them, along with nurses who help this process along. My family has personally relied on the personnel in the emergency room far too often for me to take this lightly. If you are feeling sick, you can find a place to go at any time of day or night here. Some suffer for months or years and must wait for a doctor to visit their town, or rely on the healing abilities of those who are not licensed to practice, but have learned how to treat conditions and make their own medicine. Many die because they are not able to seek medical help, or obtain it in time. Every time you take a pill to dull a headache, or clear your blocked nose, think of how lucky you are to have these supplies at your fingertips, and how blessed you are that you can consult a professional if a serious condition develops.

Life
The gift without which all these other gifts would be useless. I hope you are grateful for your life.

grateful, gratefulness, being grateful, gifts, things we take for granted

While away for an overnight trip with friends, the heavy rain prevented us from enjoying the lake. Instead, we enjoyed plenty of junk food and conversation that centered on heavy topics including rape and abortion, but also the idea of faith (religion) or beliefs.

I believe in God, although I’ll be the first to admit that my faith wavers. I don’t think I need to beat anybody over the head with this faith, but I do think my life should be a living testimony of my faith. Unfortunately, I don’t find that it is, and that is because instead of praying regularly and in doing so developing my relationship with God, I pray most when I’m worried (although I make a point to pray when I am grateful too), and I reserve my bible reading for Sundays. I truly believe that if I read my bible more often, I would feel more comfortable with my faith, and be more likely to live it everyday.

Something that is difficult for people to accept is that some faiths are very direct in saying that people of a different faith will go to hell if they continue with their religion. One of my friends found this phrasing offensive, and I can see her point: in our politically correct society, someone who seems to be condemning is not going to be popular.

But think about it: if someone truly believed that all religions lead to heaven, then why would they be so attached to their own particular religion? I’d like to believe that people continue practicing the faith of their parents because they believe in it more than the other options around. If not, there is no point to practice it in my opinion.

Another discussion point was the idea of whether or not it’s fair that God allows this, or allows that. I do not have an answer for this except for one that may seem like a non-answer: God is not human so I cannot put upon Him the qualities that I expect humans to have or understand. What humans define as fair or not is limited–we do not see the big picture, we do not understand why everything happens. I feel quite inadequate, therefore, trying to decide what is fair or unfair. This doesn’t mean I don’t cry out with “it’s not fair!” when things good people die young, but I do realize that I can’t question something I don’t fully understand, and I don’t think we’re meant to fully understand how God works.

If questions like this intrigue you, you may want to visit Allison at Finding Religion.

belief, faith, belief in God, religion

The title is from a song whose chorus goes:

Every life first the sun then the night falls
We’re all on borrowed time
I’ll never say goodbye
Take your time live your life like it’s last call
Don’t wanna see you cry
We’ll never say goodbye

When somebody dies we are reminded of our own mortality. We’re reminded to live every day to the fullest because we don’t know if it will be our last. It’s very scary to think that you may not live to see tomorrow, or your plans for next week, but that is the way life is (a trite answer, perhaps but a very true one).

I would like to challenge you as I challenge myself to live each day to the fullest. It is far too easy to get caught up in the full time job, the part time job, children, friends, moving from one activity to another, trying to earn more money, save more money, volunteering your time to everyone and everything, that you may not have taken any time to examine your life and see what it’s like. Do you enjoy your life? Are there moments of quiet mingled in with the bustle? If you find time to volunteer for certain causes, are you making sure that you are equally generous with your time and/or money to the friends and family around you?

Needless to say, this last point strikes a huge chord within me. I have a large family and there isn’t a day that goes by where I’m not snapping at, or scrapping with at at least one of them, yet I am able to go to work and be cordial and friendly with my coworkers. I hold the door for complete strangers and smile at people I don’t know on the bus. It seems I save my very worst behaviour for my “loved ones”. If my time were to be up tonight, would I be proud of their last memory of me?

Absolutely not.

My challenge then, is to treat each day as if it were your last. Tell your loved ones that you love them-and show it! Be more generous (God has given me so much, and I’m often too busy trying to get more to actually take stock of it. Taking stock of your blessings might be the first step). Smile more. Spend more time with your family, instead of shutting them out with the television or computer.

We’re all on borrowed time.

life, death, loved ones, live your life

When a family member or close friend dies, you may find yourself experiencing disbelief and grief simultaneously: even as you are absorbing the reality of the news, and reacting to it, it can be hard to imagine that somebody’s life is over. That they will never wake up again, feel the sunshine, send an email, argue with you.

Nobody can tell you how you should deal with grief and sorrow. Some people cry, some become extremely quiet and withdrawn. Others write about their sorrow, or are galvanized into action, and vow to never forget the death.

The best healer of sorrow is time, the one thing we cannot control. Although time passes, memories remain and with time these memories can be reviewed without triggering pain alone. We learn to accept the loss, although we may still feel the deep emotions associated with it.

Our family lost a cousin yesterday, a young man who was hardworking and God-fearing. Although I will never see him again, I wanted to let him know how I felt about him and I did here. However you decide to deal with grief, may it bring peace to you and your family.

If you are right in the midst of your vacationing, or will be going on vacation soon, you may find these tips on packing light handy!

Pack double duty items
There are lots of ways to incorporate double duty items: you can pack something that you will wear more than once, such as a pair of jeans, or you can pack items that are a bit more versatile: a button down shirt can be worn as a jacket one day, then tucked in as a blouse the next. You can also pack items of clothing that are convertible, such as a pair of pants that zips off into shorts and/or capri pants, shirts that roll up and button so you can wear it as a long sleeve or short sleeved shirt, a jacket that is water resistant and can serve as a raincoat if needed. Try not to pack anything unless it will serve you more than once.

Know the weather where you’re headed
Check the weather forecast in order to ensure you have what you need. This will prevent you from bringing several outfits for each day just because you don’t know what to expect weather-wise.

Know what you’re wearing when
By planning what you will wear each day, you may notice while packing that you’re packing too much or that some items can do double duty. Taking the time to plan outfits might seem tedious at first, but it will be a space saver later.

Know what is supplied at your destination
If you are staying at a hotel, you don’t need to bring your own towels and there is usually a complimentary hair dryer and iron in your hotel room. Don’t waste space packing these items! If in doubt, you can always call ahead to see what amenities come with your hotel room. If you are staying with friends, the chances that they will have a lot of the appliances you may need are even greater.

Take a larger suitcase!
This is an absolute last resort: if you see that you just can’t pack light, grab a larger suitcase and bask in all the extra room you now have! That doesn’t mean you can add more items to your case though!

pack light, travel light, vacation packing, packing for vacation, pack for vacation

When it comes to medical checkups, people fall into two camps: they are either too diligent (they call their doctor for every sniffle, sneeze, or cough) or they refuse to call the doctor, even when they are experiencing symptoms that they have been told expressly by their doctor to call about.

While neither of these extremes should be encouraged, there is a middle ground: if you are an adult, get yourself to a doctor at least once a year! Children generally visit the doctor more often than parents do, especially when they are the age range for vaccinations or being tested to make sure their growth and development is normal. Adults, on the other hand, if blessed with generally good health on the surface, can easily fall into the habit of letting years go by without a visit to a doctor.

Why is it important to get a yearly check up? Well, sadly diagnoses of cancer are still being made, and this is a disease that is best caught early. Diabetes, hypertension, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol are all diseases or conditions with symptoms that may not show themselves clearly until a blood test or other invasive tests are performed. The sooner you begin treating a potential problem, the better it is. Also, a checkup might reveal deficiencies in your body chemistry that can be regulated by a change in diet. You may think your body is functioning just fine but once small changes are made, you may be amazed by how much better you feel!

By being diligent about visiting your doctor regularly, the chances of ensuring that any potential problems are caught early are much greater. If it’s been a while, book an appointment today and get checked. Want an easy way to remember when it’s time for a checkup? Book them to coincide with your birthday: what better way to show love for yourself by considering your health?

medical checkup, medical checkups, doctor, annual checkup, yearly checkup

Yesterday, I explained how frustrating seeking a lost item can be. Today I’d like to share some tips to make finding things more bearable:

Retrace your steps
This is the step that most people do the moment they realize they have lost something: they think back to where they last saw the item, and check all of those places and see if the item can be recovered along the way. Sometimes it can be helpful to mentally retrace one’s steps before physically retracing them as this gives you a chance to map out an entire route instead of jumping from place to place.

Recruit help
If during the previous step you discover that you covered a large area of space before you lost the item, it may be necessary to seek the help of others. Letting people know what you’re looking for can be helpful in several ways: it may help the job get done faster (the whole “two heads are better than one” argument) and someone may have already found the item you seek and by you consulting them they can hand over an item whose owner they were uncertain of. Also, a helper can ask questions that help to trigger your memory as you try to retrace your steps.

Check each area thoroughly before moving on
Leave no stone unturned and no envelope unopened when you’re seeking something! If you are looking for something on your desk, go through each drawer one by one. Remove everything and look in pockets, nooks and any other crannies before moving on to the next. This is such an important step because going through an area swiftly without checking everything carefully guarantees that you will need to recheck the place, which wastes time and gives the frustration an opportunity to mount.

Give yourself time
Although most searches are somewhat urgent, it is important to give yourself time for this process. By taking the time to think carefully as you retrace your steps and check each possible area, your chances of finding the item are greater. If you feel rushed, you may not see things are right in front of you. Take the time to be thorough.

These are tips that have helped me in the past, what is your searching style?

lost something, find, finding lost items, lost and found, how to find lost items, seeking lost things, searching for lost things

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If you have ever lost something and had to find it, you know what a frustrating process this can be. If you misplaced something recently, there is significantly less step-tracing involved but what if you lost something years ago?

I was given the second copy of a key several years ago and I promptly lost it. What made this situation irksome is that the key has a habit of being borrowed by a third party, often without my knowledge. The original owner of the key was not so careless and as a result, did not ever need my spare key so I thought I was safe. However, after almost three years, my luck ran out: the owner of the key locked his key inside a room and my copy of the key was needed to free the other key.

I had no idea where this key was, which led to frustration, but my frustration was twofold: I could not recall where I had put the key and second, I couldn’t recall whether the key had been borrowed and not returned (and alas, neither could the person who tended to borrow this key). Either way, as the person to whom the key was given, it fell on me to find it. When your living quarters best ressemble a warehouse, with boxes, trinkets and knicknacks everywhere, looking for a key becomes a search for the proverbial needle in the haystack. After cursing and checking those parts of my abode that hadn’t been moved around for a few years and not finding the key, I gave up. Then, on a whim, I decided to check one location that I thought was a new addition to my abode and could not possibly contain the key. Within 60 seconds the key was found and years of wondering of where it was was over.

My search techniques were somewhat haphazard but tomorrow I will share with you how to search for something like a pro.

lost something, find, finding lost items, lost and found

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As the years go by (far too swiftly) I am noticing more and more of my female friends are finding boyfriends, which are morphing into fiancés and eventually to husbands. As the years pass, the number of weddings that I am invited to increases. For someone who always expected to be married by this age, attending weddings and hearing about newly engaged couples manages to scrape at my heart and make my heart smile at the same time. I’m left feeling happy for the couple yet so sad for myself and how I have seemingly missed out on something special.

I am generally optimistic about finding that special someone but every so often, I get down about the whole situation and all the platitudes in the world from well meaning friends do not help to make things better. I get sick of wishing everyone else best wishes, hearing “how we met” stories and getting excited about other people’s weddings. I want to be excited, and I am excited, it’s just that there’s a little voice that keeps asking “what about me?” and I can’t always answer it with positivity and optimism.

As happy as I am for my friends who have managed to find love, I can’t deny that being at times the only uncoupled one at events can be quite ego deflating. I do a good job of faking that everything’s ok but it does hurt. It hurts so much that after a while of attending events where I’m the only uncoupled on, I take a break.

So my question to you is this: are you going through a similar situation? Have you ever felt like you’re behind all your friends in certain areas of life? How did you deal with the feelings?
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If you have a real life dilemma that you’d like to be featured on the Friday feature, please send it to jummy.lifetipsdaily@gmail.com.

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Ms. Lysanne Brault, Certified Professional Coach, was kind enough to grant Life Tips Daily an interview. Ms. Brault’s personal website, LB Coaching Vision, an easy to navigate site in soothing shades of blue, invite you to relax and feel at ease, and her friendly smile doesn’t hurt either. A life coach under the International Coach Federation, Ms. Brault has been a life coach for two years. After careers in urban analysis, real estate development, and organizational development, Ms. Brault herself sought the services of a life coach and it was through this process that she discovered her current career path. She believes that until one experiences the benefits (from a consumer point of view) of life coaching, one can’t truly appreciate it, and it is this very topic that we spoke about.

Life coaching differs from other fields in that the “client” is healthy, whole and resourceful. Unlike a relationship with a consultant who is there to tell you how to make things work better, a life coach performs “inside out” work: Ms. Brault describes her role as “getting the juice out” of the individual, with the understanding that the expert is the client.

Ms. Brault’s website lists a number of reasons why one might consider hiring a life coach. Life coaches are helpful for people who feel there is a blockage in their life, something preventing them from reaching their full potential, or people who are unsure of what their visions and goals are, and whether their visions and goals are in sync with their personal values.

The majority of life coaching occurs on a one-on-one basis with individuals, although Ms. Brault also works with teams or groups. In the latter situation, her work is to help individuals realize the resources they have within themselves, and how these resources can best serve the larger group. In both cases Ms. Brault works with the individual to bring to fruit something already inside them: in a business-oriented environment, this may mean bringing out what will bring profit to the individual and the organization.
If you’re interested in meeting with a life coach, Ms. Brault is quick to reassure you that very little preparation is required: “Just bring your big luggage of courage and commitment!” she says with a laugh. She also stresses the importance of choosing a coach wisely, and being prepared to commit to a coach for at least three months, although a six month commitment is more realistic (most of her clients stay longer than six months).

Although clients are not required to provide their ages, Ms. Brault has coached a wide age range of clients (from approximately 18 to 65 years of age). She has a particular fondness for youth and is fascinated by how many new experiences youth have happening in their lives. She is working on a plan to reach out to local young adults from a life coaching point of view, since so few young adults are aware of what a life coach is, not to mention how a life coach could help them.

A common misconception about life coaches and life coaching is that the life coach has the answers and will release them when he or she is ready. However, the coach is there to ask deep questions: the client is in the driver’s seat at all times. Ms. Brault was quick to remind Life Tips Daily that nobody lets anyone have access to them unless they are ready to, and people will not see things until they are ready to see it. A good life coach can accelerate the process of self discovery; Ms. Brault describes this work as “manifesting their [the client, or individual’s] magnificence”.

So what can you expect from your first session with Ms. Brault? First you’ll have a casual conversation approximately 15-30 minutes in length, in person or on the phone, where she explains what life coaching is and you explain what you are looking for. The goal of this conversation is for both parties to come to an agreement about whether this partnership is right for them. During this meeting, the type of life coaching needed is also discussed. The next meeting, or first session, is face to face, usually a couple of hours long, and involves a more in-depth discussion of where you are and what areas of life you would like to move forward in. A general plan of action is usually the goal of this session, some coaching is done at this time, and a contract is signed. Following this meeting, you can expect 30 minute weekly meetings with Ms. Brault, primarily by telephone. This allows you to fit coaching into your schedule as you can call from home, work or anywhere you are.

Ms. Brault explained that one of the special gifts that life coaches like herself develop is the ability to listen at deeper levels. Most people listen at Level 1: we listen to words and we process them and formulate a response based on what we’ve heard. Level 2 listening involves the listener (life coach) asking the client questions about what he or she (the life coach) is being told, clarifying questions to ensure the client and the coach are on the same page at all times. This allows the client to clarify for him or herself what they are saying, and works to answer other questions such as: “What do you want?” Level 3 is an even deeper level of listening. Ms. Brault explains that she listens with all of her being and at all levels, totally present to all synchronicities-mind, heart and body are connected. The goal in coaching listening is to discover the truth for the client and ensure that individuals are or remain aligned with their true values.

Despite her expertise, Ms. Brault admits that clients still surprise her. She comes to each client without any judgments or preconceived notions, only a heart that is ready to listen at different levels, and she puts the flashlight on the client. Some of the discoveries that come from this process are surprising: the impact of life coaching on a client can affect and run into other aspects of their life, including relationships with others and this can move the process of self discovery along very quickly. As self-awareness improves through regular coaching sessions, waiting a week to share and explore all that has happened can seem an eternity!

The goal of Ms. Brault’s brand of life coaching is to use each person’s own unique resources to help develop a solid, grounded person. Through life coaching, you will realize how you work. Who can resist such an offer?

Lysanne Brault, life coach, life coaching, LB Coaching Vision, personal coaching, personal life coaching

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Tomorrow I will be sharing an interview that I did with a local life coach. Life coaching is a fascinating profession, and one that is not well understood.

I had some misconceptions about how life coaches work, who benefits from life coaching, and what type of person goes for life coaching. Needless to say, the interview has opened my eyes–a lot that I thought was true about this profession is not true at all.

If you remember, please check out the interview. And if you aren’t in the Ottawa area, search online for a life coach in your area. Good luck!

For more on coaching, check out the International Coach Federation’s website.

Last week, Time released its list of the 50 best websites. While it’s no surprise that google and facebook appear on the list, there were some new sites that I had never consulted before but may start checking out:

Fatsecret.com, which looks somewhat like facebook to be honest. It’s a social networking site for people trying to lose weight.

Oh Don’t Forget.com is such a neat idea! You enter a message (make it short though!) and a reminder is sent to your cell phone on whatever day and time you want. My only beef with reminder services is you tend to remember those things you think you’ll forget. We need a more sophisticated system that can figure out what you’re likely to forget, then help us remember that!

Check out the list and pick your new favourite sites!

Time, Time magazine, 50 best websites, 50 top websites

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